Hi Ony, I saw that you’ve tried reaching out again. I’ll respond because I know you won’t stop trying.Below are why I have moved on and why you are not my ideal man.

1. You are not a person I can see longevity with; It shows when you are upset.
2. You have an issue with commitment and with committing to one person.
3. You are a self-seeking, vindictive, vengeful, manipulative narcissist.You only want me back because it is at your convenience. Since you have a built rapport with me, you figured it is much easier to pursue me.
4. You never showed concern in places where I was wounded.Instead, you aggressively talked down at me and degraded me for having those feelings.You invalided and coerced me on how I should and shouldn’t feel.My right to speak, feel and unapologetically express hownegative actions have impacted me was stolen away from me by you, and I was only allowed to react to my pain and hurt of what you deemed proper.
5. You couldn’t show compassion in my most vulnerable state; instead, you made it about yourself.You were entitled and bruised because you did not get your way to have me the night of Feb 26th.
6. You use the power of your status and words to subjugate women.You like to prey on weak women, insecure women, and women deeply into you.You took my weakness which was being in love with you, hurting me at all costs through verbal abuse, invalidating, disrespecting, guilt trapping, threatening to leave for better, and insulting me.You felt like you had the power to do or say whatever to me because of who you think you are and felt there’s better out there.
7.  You had the power to prevent my heartache, but you didn’t.You wanted me to experience the pain and hurt it brought in the name of wanting to teach me a lesson and feed into your desire of indecisiveness and breadcrumbing me.I don’t deny that you enjoy seeing me in pain; it fills your pride and ego to see a woman obsessed over you.
8. You run your mouth too much for me, which is a BIG turn-off.I don’t trust that they’ll remain in the home when things get tough.You discussed me to your friends (Ex- Massa) about how I’m this and that before they could even get to know me and form their perception of me.What you told them is now their perception of me.
9.  When we had our first conflict, you watched me leave your place and be in a town that I was unfamiliar with.This was the first incident that alerted me that you do not care about me, mywellbeing and safety.Although I was hurt by your actions, I came back to make things work.However, I kept that in the back of my head and, as time went onyou kept proving to me who you really are.
10.  Unfortunately, my outlook on you is poor.I now perceive you as a malicious human being.A man that holds on to grudges and that doesn’t forgive easily.A man that will put you through pain and watch you suffer to prove a point.A man that only cares for himself and would do anything to get it.
11. Lastly, You and I are not compatible, and I think we wanted to force our way to be compatible with each other because of the connection we had.

• 2017 heartbreak

When you meant me in 2017, I was optimistic about you and the love I had for you, and return you broke my heart into, pieces, and through my heartache I was still there for you.I checked on you gave you word of advice and told u to seek a professional help to navigate your thoughts and pain.I made sureyourwellbeing and mental health was a priority.In many of your lowest I showed up for you. I’ve interrupted many of my healing journey to attend to you.When I started dating you in 2021, I knew what we had wasn’t going to be easy because of the dishonesty, betrayal, and letdowns, but I wanted to go through all of that with you because I loved you to the core!I knew I was going to be struggling in some areas, but my hope was I was going to have someone that would be there for me, and you were never there.

When I found out that you were married in 2017, I was. Then, the pain I felt I wouldn’thave wed it on my worst enemy.I went through a lot of what did I do to deserve this, am I not good enough, am I not pretty enough, am I not a married material, am I that broken to not be chosen?And what do you tell your inner self and close friends the man you pictured your life with is now married?I didn’t choose to let you go; I was forced to let you go because I couldn’t even have you.I cried day and night because I didn’twant to believe my reality of you belonging to someone else.That was the hardest part.I felt if I sleptmore the pain would go away.I wiped so many tears in that year and 2018.I felt betrayed, ashamed, hopeless, deceived, angry and not good enough.My ex-friend paid to seek a therapist.I was ashamed that it was that obvious.She was scared that I would myself.She begged me countless times, so I went.That one session did so much for me.I was able to let you go and move on with my life.That year was one of the lowest and darkest years of my life.

• I let go in peace

After the breakup with you, I realized you are not a kind, gentle, and caring person, and if you were, it was at your convenience.It was the infatuation and illusion that I’ve created in my head for you.You were none of those things to me.The little crumbs you gave, you thought it was enough; you thought it was something I’m incapable of getting from someone as to why you treated me the way you did.You thought I would be waiting for you to return to take you back so you could continue to mistreat me.The reason I stuck around was simply because loved you dearly, and to love someone is to accept them for who they are.It was always something with you.I compromised all of me, and it still wasn’t enough.I even lowered my standards for you.You know I don’t date men that smoke, but I made an exception for you.I don’t think you loved me or cared about me as you think you did.I think you liked what I did for you and enjoyed it and was fascinated that someone could admire and want you on such a high level.Something you probably never received or felt wasn’t tangible by a woman of your desire or a beautiful woman, or it could be due to your lack of self-esteem.So, you kept me around to make yourself feel good.

1. I let you go because I want someone that is certain of me and that would fight for me as much as I tried to choose and fight for you each time.
2. I let you go because the love you had for me circumstantial and constituent
3. I let you go because I choose me.

• The Truth

Ony, everyone that knows me knows that you were not the typical guy that I would date.When we exchanged numbers in 2017, I never gave you a chance because you weren’t my type.It wasn’t until I hung out with you that I realized you were an amazing, fun, and caring individual.That same day we went to your place after the WashU event.We laughed, you taught me your cultural dance, and soon we both learned that we had a similar upbringing, being raised by a single mother and falling short academically.We even shared our love for tigernuts when I sawthemin your refrigerator.That night I laid on your chest in peace.I was happy and felt like I knew you in another lifetime.It was then my heart accepted you.It was then I built a bond and connection with you.It was then I told myself, this man is my husband because I loved and liked you as an individual.I did not care about your success.I saw myself being by your side even if you had nothing.I promised myself to work hard in life so that I could choose the man I give my love to because, unlike many women, I didn’twant to date a man for their status, but for they the truly are.I was at ease to know that you were financially stable, but it wasn’t the reason I was drawn to you.It only reassuresfor the future/family I envisioned with you.

• I’mTired

I’m tired of my heart being broken by you.I don’t trust you with my heart.You did not value me as much as I did and respected you.If you did, you wouldn’t have let me go that easy. It’s sad, but you can’t do right by me.You yearn for a happy and healthy relationship but forget that such a relationship comes with continued uncomfortable conversations, helping each other overcome past trauma/fears, loving one another unconditionally, and being vulnerable seeing the ugly cries.

Through my breakup with you, I learned that I shouldn’t have to go through countless heartaches just to experience soft and consistent love from you or any man.I am enough and good enoughh for love and marriage my heart desires.You thought tell chose I “choose you” was something I should have been joyful and proud of; not knowing it made me feel less of a person as if I was never good enough to be chosen by you.Remember this and it’ll help you along the journey of find your person.When two people start, a relationship the first few weeks/months is always stress-free and joyful, but eventually jealously, adjusting,clinginess and arguments will start to surface.Trust issues will show, it’ll starts to get very ugly, and that’s when you need to stay to work things through; that’s where the bond, the love, and trust will indeed be built and rebuilt.Remember, I stuck around while you walked away.

• I want!
• I want someone that will support my dreams and goals, someone I’m equally aligned with.
•  I want someone that will take good care of my heart, so my femineity can show. I’m tired having to protect myself.
•  I want someone that will not insult or disrespect me when we have a conflict. It’s ok to give feedback on something that’s needs improving.But what is not okay is that other person using it as a weapon against the other person in a conflict.
•  I want someone that will show me soft and consistent love.
•  I want someone that’ll stay through the rough times.
•  I want someone that will make not just me a priority but also make it a priority to make time for concerning matters I bring to their attention and to take it seriously.
•  I want someone I can be safe with and someone that would createa safe space for me to let my walls down to show the true me.
•  I want someone who can put themselves aside regardless of how they feel towards me and show me compassion in a time of need.
•  I want someone that will hold me when I’m afraid
•  I want someone that would love me unconditionally.Someone that would love me on my good and bad days.Love to me is when you no longer see the flaws that you once saw in a person.
• I want someone that would accept me for me and understand I don’t intentionally try to be bossy or direct/assertive but understand that’s part of who I am, but that does not mean I am a mean or rude person because I am not.
• Our relationship

Yes, in the relationship we had you gave me a sense of secureness by demonstration, but you lack respect, equality and understanding of me and that’s where a lot of my anger and frustration came from. Most times when I wasn’t soft it was because I was crying for either one of those things. Have you ever asked yourself what have I done for Wokie to not show softness? Because what you fail to realize is a woman will quickly guard herself when she’s not being treated fair.  Everything was done according to your time and how you wanted it. I was even forced to apologized for saying I had anger and resentment towards you. You made me to feel that it was bad to feel that way towards you and guilt trip me to apologize and I did, but little did I know that was me invalidating my true feelings of how I felt because of you invalidating how I felt. Today, I’m unapologetically not sorry for that.

As I look back on our relationship, I wasn’t given a safe space so I was always ready toprotect myself from you. Which may come off as being hard. I always felt like I still had to protect myself because you didn’t give me that space. I never really opened up to you because I was constantly afraid of being judged. 

I learned to know your temper, anytime you feel angry, flustered, frustrated and things get challenging you rush to exit and that’s not what I’m looking for. I need someone that will be there through the ups and downs. It’s so unfortunate I fell in love with a double minded person. I lost myself committing to someone that wasn’t committed. I feel so ashamed for enduring and allowing myself to scope that low

• Flustered questions in my head during my heartache
• Why should I be a friend to you?
• Outside the superficial things, and outside of how Wokie made you feel, what is it about
• Wokie-her true self that made you love her?
• Why is it that you can’t let me go?
• What is your end goal?
• Why put me through a heartbreak when you planned to return?

• Who is Wokie

If you get to know me to the core, you will know that I am an easy-going, kind, loving, given and fun to be around type of person.I’m an introvert but many do not know this of me because of how outgoing and how well I can get along with others. I love reading, listening to sermons and podcasts to develop my awareness. I love dancing and listening to music when life gets tough and when I’m down. I love to meditate and align with my spirituality. I like the finest things in life, and I love working hard to acquire those things for myself. I’m passionate about the medical field, women’s health, and serving the underserved population. I believe following your purpose in life that’s the only way you would live up to your true calling. I love taking pictures of myself and things I found interesting. I was raised by a single mother of now five children, and I am second to the last.I strive to become great in life because of my up bringing. I love being around my family and close friends. I love my individuality and I love the pace that I learn and grow. When I’m hurt and excited, you see and hear it through my voice and facial expression and behavior and when i love, I love hard.

• Constituent

 Are with the cause, not you. They are only with you because of the cause. They will confuse you because they walk just like a confidant. They specifically are there because of the cause not because of you! There attraction is with there mission. These people are only with you so long you are getting them closer and closer to their mission. These people will leave you to go to another person if they see that you are not getting them closer to their mission. They will leave you broken because you thought they love you, but in actuality they never loved you they only love what you do and if they meet someone who can take them there quicker they left you because it was never about you, it was about it. That’s who you are.

• My wish to you

My wish to you is for you to slow down and find the good in what you have before it slips away.Build friendship, a foundation, understanding, boundaries, and a deep connection with a person first before anything else, but overall have faith and Godat the center.I firmly believe it is through genuine friendship, connection, and likeness of a person and faith that would help weather through many storms.I let you go, and I’m at peace.As I look back on the relationship, we had I remember it as a beautiful love story, I feel so honored to have shared such love with you, and I hope that one day you will look back on me as someone who loved you wholeheartedly even when it wasn’t always what you wanted or needed from me.I hope you look at me as someone who did not fear the future when they pictured you in it and someone that wanted to have your kids and build an empire.I wish you nothing but the absolute best in life.What we had was so precious andbeautiful to me even down to the silly fights. Idon’t regret sharing my love with you, not one inch of it.